I had not dated in so long I was at least going to try it. I pictured a tall man with brown wavy hair, a fu manchu mustache, eyes with emotion, gentle hands, hairy chest, looks good in jeans, somewhat fit, passionate, not too rich and not to poor, a hard worker and treats me good. Someone to connect with. It seemed kinda crazy at the time but I guess you never know. What could it hurt?
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That night.....
I went to the Flight Deck to hear a band play. They had every seat filled. I sat at a table with friends in the middle of it all. I wanted a higher perch. I kept my eye open for somewhere at the bar to sit. Finally a seat opened up. This one guy left. I got up, squeezed my way to the open seat at the bar and made myself comfortable. Now I can see better. A few minutes later (maybe 10) I feel a tap on my shoulder. "Excuse me, that was my seat." he said. "Not now it isn't." I answered back. He said, "Oh, never mind. You can stay. I wanted to talk to you anyway." "Oh really, about what?", I asked. He said something like....I think you are cute and I would like to get to know you. "Ok, I'll stay but you really should walk away now because I am not going to birth you any children. I can tell you are younger and I don't want to get all tangled up in love with you, only to break up when I don't want any more children. " He said, "I did not ask you to have any kids and I won't."
I took inventory and this was what I visioned earlier as I held the hand of the psychic. All the details were there. How could that happen? Could it be? No way!! Before the night was over he pressed me up against the wall and kissed me with passion. Maybe this was him. He asked for my phone number (before cell phones) and I said, "My name is Jana Jamieson and if you really want to call me you will figure out how to find my number, goodnight."
He called the next night and asked me out to the races at Butler Speedway. On the way to the track we were getting to know each other and I asked him what his last name was. He told me. I said hmmmmm I went to school with a gal with the same last name. He said, "Who?" I told him and he said, "You couldn't have she is 15 years older than me." That is when we figured out the age difference. You really could not tell by looking at us. I looked way younger than my age and he looked older than his. It balanced out so we both looked to be the same age.
We dated for the next three years. He was real cool with my sons. They all got along. During the week I needed to take them to activities and help them with homework. He worked out of town all week and came back on the weekends. When he pulled into my driveway on Friday nights I always felt a flutter. I loved the smell of him, his voice, the way he walked ....well everything actually. I was in love. So much that while he was out of town all week I would lay in bed at night and talk to him and I really felt that he could hear me. We always got along very well. We only saw each other on the weekends so there was no time to fight. Most weekends we would go to the Flight Deck and dance all night then end up at Denny's for a late breakfast.
Without bothering you with any details.....making love to him was always a treat. He would ask me if I wanted to have "a session." I could not get enough of this man. Loved, loved, loved him. If I so much as snuggled up next to him and got a whif of his scent, it was go time.
He was exactly what I ordered. Most folks thought we were married.
Once in a while I noticed the way he looked at babies when they were in the same room. He didn't think I saw it but I did. Not in the first couple years but that third year he was. He would look at them with a child like curiosity. He wanted to know more. One day I sat him down and asked him to tell me the truth, did he want a child now? Well, the answer was a solid yes. Shit!! I had full custody of three sons already. That wasn't easy. It was quite a task to work full time and make sure they had something to eat, decent clothing and help them with massive amounts of homework. They were in scouts, church, t-ball, etc. They were about 10, 12 and 14. He worked out of town all week and did not want to leave the employment of that company. He was a construction foreman. I just could not see taking on a baby in addition to everything else. I drew the line. I said no. He let me know that the feeling in him was so strong that he would have to move on. We talked for hours to see if we could come to a compromise but it wasn't going to happen. I did not want to birth a child and he wanted one. We parted ways while crying in each others arms. We held each other tight for what seemed like the longest time and then eventually he walked out the door....never to return. That was the last I saw of him. 18 years ago.
It took him 10 years but he found her. They had a son 8 years ago. A little handsome guy. I am happy for him.
I ran into him a while back. He said hi. I went across the room to talk with him for a minute. I told him that I thought it was cool that he still hung out with my son once in a while. That I liked that they were still friends. All my sons went into construction jobs. I really think they looked up to him. I think he was a great influence.
Before I walked away he asked me if I remembered the photo of myself that I had given him 18 years ago. I did. He said, "I still carry it with me and look at it often." He then said that he thought he had misplaced it a week or so ago and he was none to happy about it. He then found it and felt better.
I should have told him that if he ever did lose it for real that I would get him another. Instead I looked at him sincerely and asked him to run away with me. "Let's just go," I said. The look in his eyes told it all. There was no way he could leave his son. I understood.
He looked down at me and with those really sincere eyes he said, "We really did have something, didn't we?"
Yes, we did.
