Sunday, June 9, 2013

Jealousy, Love, Sentiment and Joy.....The meaning of rings

Apparently the first ring I ever received was a simple gold band. A baby ring. I don't remember wearing it. I found it in my Mother's jewelry box and asked her what it was and she told me it was my baby ring. I really didn't get a story with that. Just your baby ring. Not sure if it was connected to baptism or when it was placed on my finger. For all I know the hospital might have given them away to every newborn.

Then there was the two or more rings that were given to my sister by my Aunt and Grandmother. The story I was told, was that the rings were won back in the early 1900's when they  (sisters) sold soap door to door as teens. They were very petite Opal rings. The Opal being very delicate. A ring with three stones. They were given to my sister because she was born in October and therefore her birthstone was Opal.  I was experiencing some pretty strong jealousy. Why would they give one sister all the rings and the other one none? It all made no sense to me. It was all done on the sly too. I had no clue until I saw them on her finger. Where did you get that? I was none too happy. It was almost like she was crowned the princess of the family. This is what I was thinking..."Because she is so perfect, she can have all the jewelry." It didn't help my teenage self esteem any.

At 16 I dated and fell in love. To profess our love for each other I wore his Rolling Stone Hot Licks enamel necklace with pride and he was presented my baby ring on a necklace.



 I still remember the moment, on Christmas at the kitchen table I was sitting in his lap and he presented me with a single blue star sapphire. It was a great moment. I wore that ring with love in my heart. It meant so much to me. When we broke up we made an exchange of the necklaces but I got to keep the ring. It spent years in my jewelry box and I looked at it often. It is the only ring in my life that was given to me as a symbol of his love, without me having prior knowledge of it. I loved that little sweet ring that so symbolized my first love. I let a friend of my sons stay with us for a while and he was into stealing things that he never thought I would miss. He got into my jewelry box and stole the star sapphire ring. I heard that he gave it to his girlfriend. I went over and pounded on their trailer and demanded that I get to go through her room to find the ring. I did too. I wanted that ring back. No luck in finding it.

When I was about 22 I was seeing a man and got pregnant. We decided to get married. Mutual agreement, I think. Anyway, I went with him to the jewelry store and we picked out two simple gold bands and I paid for them. That wasn't too romantic.

After 10 years of a not so good marriage, we went to marital counseling. In the numerous discussions I kept bringing up that I bought the rings and he bought a tractor. All vacation time that he took from work was used to go deer hunting. He professed to love me but had ceased to buy me any gifts of any kind, except vacuum cleaners or pots and pans. Maybe an iron. So, he agreed to get me a ring. A diamond ring. We went shopping and what I got was a 1/3 k diamond solitare. $1,200. Presented to me at my 10th anniversary. It really held no meaning. It was not given in love. We divorced within the next year. It was almost like, "OK, here is the stupid ring that you wanted." We divorced 20 years ago. It sat in my jewelry box all that time. I sold it this year on ebay for $200.



I always looked at the birthstone display and wondered why I got stuck with the ugly color. Peridot. Until one Christmas I was given a beautiful Peridot ring by my sons. They had gotten together with a friend that knew someone in the jewelry business and surprised me. Peridot was now the most beautiful of all the birthstones. That was so special. Years later when Montgomery Wards went out of business I went there to the jewelry counter and bought all the remaining Peridot. Rings, necklace and earrings. I have quite a few now.



I was dating a guy a few years ago. It appeared to be getting serious. He said he would like to buy me a ring. Not a $10,000 ring. Nothing over priced at the mall. He encouraged me to go find an affordable ring that I liked. I went to the antique store that is downtown. In the front jewelry counter I found a nice blue opal ring. I told him about it and he went to purchase it. I still have that one. I wear it most of the time. I rarely associate it with him. I know that he bought it but I just see it as my ring now. I don't look at it and think of him. It is just comfortable and I like the stone.



My favorite ring that I wear now is my Mother's JHS class ring. It is gold, silver and copper with the JHS tower. 1948. It is one of the few things of hers that I have.